Living with celiac disease can be challenging enough without dealing with people who don’t understand—or worse, don’t support—your needs. If you’re struggling with unsupportive friends, family, or even colleagues, you’re not alone. Many people with celiac disease face skepticism or criticism from those closest to them, and it can be incredibly isolating.
In this post, I’ll share strategies to help you navigate these tough situations, communicate your needs effectively, and maintain your well-being when support is lacking.
Recognizing the Impact of Unsupportive Relationships
Our relationships significantly affect our overall well-being. For someone with celiac disease, feeling supported by loved ones is even more crucial, as it helps reduce the emotional burden of managing a strict gluten free diet. When people we care about don’t take our needs seriously, it can be disheartening and add unnecessary stress to our lives.
For example, maybe your partner dismisses your dietary needs or doesn’t take cross-contact seriously, making you feel unsafe even in your own home. Or perhaps a parent or sibling downplays your diagnosis, saying things like, “You’ve eaten gluten your whole life, why can’t you now?” This lack of support can lead to frustration, anxiety, and even strain on your health.
Communication is Key: Speak Up for Your Needs
While it may seem obvious, the first step to improving your relationships is often clear and direct communication. Many people don't fully understand what celiac disease involves or why strict adherence to a gluten free diet is non-negotiable. Here are some tips to help make those conversations easier:
Explain Your Condition with Confidence: When discussing celiac disease, speak with assurance. Explain what gluten exposure does to your body and why it’s critical to avoid it. Be factual and clear about the risks.
Share the Impact on Your Life: Give real-life examples to get the point across as to how cross-contact or any gluten exposure affects you. For instance, share that using a contaminated toaster or eating food prepared on shared surfaces could make you seriously ill.
Express Your Needs Directly: Instead of expecting people to automatically understand, clearly state what you need from them. For example, ask them to avoid using your gluten free cooking tools or to refrain from offering you foods that contain gluten.
Seek Mutual Understanding: Ask if there’s anything they need to feel more comfortable supporting you. This can help create a two-way conversation, allowing them to share their concerns or misunderstandings.
Partner Support: A Vital Piece of the Puzzle
In romantic relationships, feeling supported is essential. If your partner is unwilling to make adjustments, it may be time for a serious conversation. Relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, and when that isn’t present, it can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction.
If your partner is open to learning and making changes, the relationship can become stronger. But if you’re continuously feeling unsafe or undervalued because of their reluctance, it might be worth reevaluating if this is the best fit for you. We all deserve someone who will support our health and make us feel safe and loved.
Building Support in the Workplace
Workplaces can be tricky when it comes to managing celiac disease. Workmates will likely be unaware of the severity of cross-contact, or worse, may make light of your dietary needs. Educate colleagues where possible, and if anyone deliberately disregards your health (such as intentionally exposing you to gluten), this is a serious matter that warrants escalation to HR and you have legal rights in the workplace to be kept safe.
Creating an environment where you feel safe at work is important, and standing up for yourself when needed can make a big difference.
Alternatives for Family Time: Not All Get-Togethers Need Food
If certain family members aren’t supportive, consider finding activities that don’t revolve around food. Plan outings, play games, or go for a walk. By doing things together that don’t involve eating, you can reduce the chances of conflict and enjoy quality time without stress.
Strengthening Your Relationship Through the Five Love Languages
Understanding and embracing each other’s “love languages” can be a game-changer in relationships. If you haven’t already, consider taking the Five Love Languages quiz with your partner. By learning each other’s primary love languages—such as acts of service, words of affirmation, or quality time—you’ll both know exactly how to support each other best. For someone with celiac disease, acts of service might mean your partner ensures gluten free meals are safe, showing love in a way that directly benefits your health.
Moving Forward with Confidence and Self-Respect
No one should have to tolerate disrespect or a lack of support, especially when it comes to their health. If you find that someone, whether a partner, friend, or family member, is unwilling to make the necessary changes to support you, it might be time to consider new boundaries or even take a step back.
Remember, you’re worth the effort, and you deserve to feel safe, loved, and supported. Trust that there are people out there who will honor your needs and want to be a positive part of your journey.
By advocating for yourself and standing firm in your needs, you’re not only ensuring your health—you’re also showing others the importance of empathy, respect, and true support.
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