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Writer's pictureBelinda Whelan

Why Won’t You Just Say No?

Updated: Oct 7



The word "no" can feel like a brick wall sometimes—so hard to say, yet so easy to utter when the moment calls for it. But let’s be real: how often do we end up saying yes when we really want to say no?


Think about it for a second. Who do you find yourself saying no to the most? Is it yourself? Your kids? Maybe you're saying yes to everyone else but neglecting your own needs. What if I told you that embracing this little word could lift some emotional weight off your shoulders and create space for the much-needed “me time” you deserve?


I can hear you now: “Time out? What’s that?” I get it—between juggling work, kids, and life, it can feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day for a moment of peace. But let’s explore how we can carve out that time just for you.


We’re often racing around like headless chickens, going places we might not even want to go. Think about those days when you drop the kids off at school, dash to the store, plan to catch up with friends for coffee, and then—bam!—work calls and asks you to start early. You want to say no, but that pesky little voice creeps in, whispering, “I shouldn’t let my team down. They need me.” You end up choosing someone else’s happiness over your own, yet again.


When we consistently say yes to others, we often end up saying no to ourselves. This can lead to stress and even resentment toward the very people we wanted to help. You know those parties you agreed to attend, only to dread them when the day arrives? So, you wait until the last minute to bail with some half-hearted excuse, leaving you feeling crummy. Sound familiar? Yep, we’ve all been there.


Now, imagine the freedom that comes with saying no sometimes. How would your life shift if you occasionally put yourself first—not just in relation to work and friends, but in taking care of your health and well-being? This is especially important for women living with celiac disease, where prioritizing your health means setting clear boundaries about what you can and cannot do. You don’t have to say yes to every dinner invitation that could lead to cross-contact or every gathering that doesn’t consider your dietary needs.


I know, I know. It feels like a shock. We’ve been taught to be polite and accommodating, but here’s the thing: this is your life, and you only get one shot at it. Do you want to fill your days with obligations that please others or spend time doing what lights you up?


Saying no is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. I work with my clients on mastering the art of saying no. My mantra? Baby steps. Start small. Say no to something minor, and gradually build up your confidence. That way, when the big asks come along—like accepting a dinner invite that might put your health at risk—it becomes easier to prioritize your well-being.


The next time someone pressures you to say yes, try this approach: “I’ll have to get back to you on that if that’s okay. I have a lot going on, and I don’t want to overcommit and risk disappointing you. Let me check my schedule, and I’ll let you know.” This simple response shows you’re being honest and gives you space to consider your own needs.


Here’s what this does for you:


  • It buys you time to evaluate whether you truly want to commit.

  • You maintain your integrity by not agreeing to something you can’t follow through on.

  • Most importantly, it gives you a chance to prioritize your health and well-being, especially in navigating your gluten-free journey.


So, will you practice saying no next time someone asks you to do something you really don’t want to? It’s a game-changer!


Now, think about a time when you said yes and regretted it. What did you learn from that experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment below!



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